It’s no secret that I detest the underground. I also hate the overground; it’s actually a journey on the overground that triggered this post being written.
There’s a few things that particularly annoy me and I don’t even understand how some of these things happen.
1. People talking really fucking loudly – This was the driving force behind me furiously scribbling down notes for this post. I was sat about five seats down from a lady having the loudest telephone conversation in the world! I had my headphones in and could still hear her over my music. Why did she have to be so loud?!
2. The run-and-jumpers – When the tube is absolutely packed in the morning and that one person is so desperate to not have to wait another minute for the next train that they take a run up and launch themselves into the carriage – if the only way that you get into the train is by throwing your full body weight, at speed, into other people, there’s simply not enough room. Dickhead. This leads nicely on to…
3. Backpacks/Handbags/Guitars in the face – this one is so easy to avoid. When you get on the tube, take your bag off. Simple. Yes, you might think you have space to turn 180 degrees but you seem to have forgotten about the 60 litre backpack attached to you which just scraped half the skin off my face as you turned. Thanks for that mate.
4. Tutters and sighers – Yes this journey is shit but it’s shit for all of us and no matter how much you tut, sigh, roll your eyes or whatever else you might be doing, it’s not going to get any better until you reach your destination and get off.
5. Standing on the right (or not) – So this isn’t really a problem with the underground itself but it is part of the underground station so it belongs in this list. “Stand on the right” means exactly that – don’t stand on the left or in middle. Also, and perhaps the signs need to be clearer on this because it happens all the time, this applies to your bags too! It’s pointless you standing on the right if your bag is next to you and no one can get past anyway.
6. Tourists – As someone who loves travelling, I know this shouldn’t annoy me but seriously, do you have to be standing right in front of the tube doors with your map out during rush hour? Surely you could have had an extra half an hour in bed, you are on holiday after all.
7. The smell – All of the smells! If you smell a little sweaty because you’re on your way home from a run/the gym/football, fair enough. If you smell sweaty because you haven’t showered in three weeks, that’s not ok. What is also not ok is eating on the underground. Firstly, it’s unbelievably unhygienic. Secondly, nobody wants to smell your tuna/egg/salami sandwich combined with three weeks’ worth of sweat. Finally, and not all related to smell, if you eat with your mouth open or just chew really loudly, expect to get hurt!
8. Really happy people – It’s 7 a.m., the only reason I’m on the tube this early, is so that I miss rush hour. Just because we’re sat in the same carriage does not automatically make us friends. Please stop talking to me.
9. Really miserable people – In Manchester, if you accidentally catch someone’s eye, you give them a quick friendly smile. I don’t mean a long, creepy, stalker-like smile – just a silent acknowledgment. I tried this on the tube for the first day or two; I’m surprised I’m still alive. Apparently even accidental eye contact is too much. You London folk need to lighten up a bit (just be careful not to go too far and turn into number 8 though.)
10. The Heat – How is it so flippin’ hot all the flippin’ time?!?!
As you can probably guess, my daily commute isn’t really my favourite part of the day but I’m British so I love having something to moan about! Plus, it gives me extra motivation to run home a couple of times a week.